- Colors No Straight Man Has Any Business Knowing – Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Ocher? Fawn? Russet? Azure? Mauve? What?
- People Who Try to and/or Successfully Kill Presidents – Assassins. Leon Czolgosz, a working man, who was born in Alpena, a city located in the middle of Mich-i-gan, assassinated United States President William McKinley in the Temple of Music, which was located near the Tower of Light, between the Fountain of Abundance and the Court of Lilies at the great Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo. In Buffalo.
- Years that the Declaration of Independence was Signed – 1776. 1776. Boo-ya.
- Words that Rhyme with “Ooh” – Every Musical Ever. Now it’s he and not you who is stuck with a shoe in the goo and you’ve learned something too something you never knew…
- Stuff about Gangs – West Side Story. Members of New York City street gangs like to snap, jeté, and call people “daddy-o”.
Honorable Mention: The Very Basic Plot Lines of Major Works of Literature – Les Miserables, Oliver, Kiss Me Kate, Candide, The Color Purple, The Scarlet Pimpernel, etc. etc. A Bunch of Poets and Stuff – Rent. Meanings of Happiness – You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. 80’s Songs You’re Kind of Embarrassed to Like – Rock of Ages. Wars that Seem Much Less Gruesome When People are Singing About Them – Miss Saigon, The Civil War, South Pacific